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Q

My Dad comes home from work and yells at us because the tea towel is not hanging right. My mother doesn’t say anything anymore. She used to ask him to not yell at us but it only made things worse. Now she says nothing. I can take Dad yelling at me but I really worry about my little brother. He is wetting the bed and having nightmares. I want to help him but I don’t know how to?

A

Wow you are amazingly generous to want to care about your little brother. I wonder where you learned to care about people in that way. It is great to reassure your brother that you want him to feel better and that you care about him, but it is not your responsibility to look after him.

If you want to be incredibly responsible you could even let them know what you will do differently.

An example of this might be… “I feel really anxious when you yell at us about little things and I have noticed that Lachie often wets the bed after a bad yelling session. I would really like it if you could calmly ask us to fix what is bugging you. I will try and listen carefully when you speak calmly to me."

Sometimes yelling can be a way of ensuring a person maintains control. This is part of the cycle of family violence. If the suggestions above all feel too difficult you could ask your mother to contact one of the services that helps women who are experiencing family violence for some advice and support.

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This resource is tagged with:
bullying abuse and violence conflict with parents family